Today (February 26th) is our 10 month anniversary of being married:) To say it's been amazing would be a huge understatement. I knew I loved Jason after the first 2 weeks of dating but the love I have for him now is stronger than I ever thought it would be...and it just gets better with each passing day and each passing hour. He is my best friend, my love, my better half, and such a wonderful example to me:) I've never laughed so hard, cried so much, or spilled the depths of my soul so often to anyone:) The other day I was on the phone with my mom and Jason came home from an interview...he said something, I responded, and we just laughed. My mom said she could tell we love talking to each other. We then responded..."Yes, we love to talk...in fact we talk too much sometimes!" Our first date consisted of us going on a walk in my neighborhood and talking ...for 4 hours. My roommate got worried when it was 1:00pm and texted us making sure we were okay:) We were fine.
So many people say the 1st year is the hardest year of marriage. I have a few things to say to that...1st- what an awful way to start out a marriage! and 2nd- Anything new is tough at first! A new job, a new school year, a new haircut, new neighbors, a new style, a new teacher, new shoes (okay, just kidding...let's be honest...new shoes are the best!) I think a lot of our relationships in life has to do with our willingness to make them better and to be submissive to change. Because my relationship and friendship with Jason is so important I have taken the time to better it because I am willing to put in the time to do so and when I am in the wrong (which I definitely am so often) i have to be submissive and willing to change for the better.
Jason makes me want to be better always and that is one reason why I love him so much:)
 |
| I love this picture:) Jason looks so happy and I'm so glad I get to be by his side for eternity. It's where I belong:) |
Okay...so sorry about the mushiness but I just love Jason:) I chose him and choose him every day:) It was one of the BEST decisions of my life. You know those couples that are SO in love and have SO much fun and are always laughing and smiling together and blah blah blah. We joke about how we are "that couple". The couple that makes other people sick. Ha:) I love being married to him though...and we will probably continue to make people sick. Sorry again.
Since we've been married we definitely have had quite the roller coaster ride. A good, fun, exhilarating ride but some of the time it's been tough. At one point I felt like my lap bar came loose and I was holding on for dear life. People ask me how I am doing now and I can confidently say I am doing well:) I am happy, Love my husband, have a great job that is very flexible, and I love my calling and the people I serve with and the Young Women. I love the Young Women:) They are wonderful.
Last week we had the opportunity to put boxes together for women who have lost their babies. When we lost out little Eden we were given a box in the hospital. It's a box to remember your baby and to keep a little memorial of him/her. They have a little washcloth, picture book, journal, CD of comforting songs, a necklace with little baby feet on it, a little baggie that you can save a piece of their hair, baby soap etc. It's nice to have a memory of your baby. The nurses at our hospital took pictures of little Eden with a little tiny bear and a hat on her head and wrapped her in a little blanket. I keep those items in my box and from time to time look in there. When I go through the box all of those memories of Eden come rushing back and I am comforted by her spirit and memory.
The Young Women in our ward helped put these boxes together as well as other women. They mostly just want help in putting together the boxes but also appreciate any donations. It is a non-profit organization called Lanee's Legacy. You can read about it and what they do on their blog ...laneeslegacy.blogspot.com. My sister-in-law, Heather, came (and brought some books) and my Aunt Susan helped as well with donations. The activity went by too quickly! We had so many hands helping us and the Young Women had a wonderful time serving. If you or anyone you know would want to help out contact them! They love putting together group projects, especially church groups.
Service is the BEST way to help a person feel better. I know that when I serve I instantly forget about myself and my trials and look outward. The magnifying glass is not on me anymore. It is my turn to focus on others. And we all know that when we do that our trials seem insignificant. Having received a box like this myself I know how appreciative the mother of these children will be. It was such a joy to serve and I hope I will always turn to others, to look outside of myself and focus on others as Christ did. The scriptures so often teach us to treat others as we would want to be treated, to be missionaries, to mourn with those that mourn. Christ was so wise. He suffered every unimaginable thing that we would all go through. He taught us how to serve. His ministry was complete and unselfish service...an Infinite sacrifice of love. He was happy because He was serving...and only serving. He knew what was to come but he continually served because only He could succor us.
The month of February has been a little tough for me. I was supposed to have Eden this Saturday (28th of February). That was her due date. I am reminded of her all the time. Every day, sometimes all day. After losing a child sometimes the only thing you can think of is having another child. They will never replace the one you lost but for some reason I think it will help ease the sadness and the loss. But...with all of the emotions and feelings I've had... I have had the privilege of meeting/seeing some new babies. Jason's sister, Amy, had her little darling boy, Lincoln, on the 9th of February, My dear friend, Rebekah Guymon had her little girl a few days ago (I've only seen pics of her but she is darling), and a wonderful woman in my ward, Julia Young, had her first just a few weeks ago. My sister-in-law, Ashley Blackham, had little Rex a few months ago, I'm so incredibly happy for my friends and family that are having and rearing such wonderful children. I only hope one day I can be as good a mom as they all are!!
Til then, I will continue to be patient. I have learned over the last few months that patience is a gift and definitely a virtue! To be patient is to have Faith in the Lord and Faith in HIS TIMING. Patience and Faithfulness are some of the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22). No wonder it's so important to have the Spirit in our lives. I read a blog the other day and was reminded of so many great people in the scriptures that had to wait for years for their desires and prayers to be answered. Moses and the children of Israel, Abraham and Sarah not being able to have children til they were older, Christ fasting for 40 days, Joseph Smith waiting years til he could get the plates to start translating. I'm learning patience slowly...and feel it is something I have been working on learning and perfecting my whole life. It is not always easy but I have noticed that the closer I am to the spirit, the more patient I become. Peace is another fruit of the spirit and it reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures... "Be still and know that I am God." As we take the time to study the scriptures and ponder we will know of God's goodness and glory.
I know that as I have the spirit in my life that I will feel more peace, have more patience, and be more faithful in the Lord's will. It's because of that faith and patience that I moved from Utah. I'm SOOOO grateful that I was able to meet Mr. Linford here in AZ and how perfectly it worked out. It may not have been on my timing, but the Lords...
...and His timing is always the best kind:)
