Summer has ended (well in most states...not exactly here in AZ) and Fall has begun. Fall is one of the best seasons (in my opinion:). I love the scented candles, leaves starting to fall, Halloween, birthdays, and cooler weather!
Today, though, is a very special day. Today exactly one year ago our little Eden was born. She was 16 weeks along and not viable(can't survive outside the womb). But oh how I would love to wrap her up in my arms and give her thousands of kisses. She would definitely feel my love for her!! It was so fun to see her in her ultrasounds kicking and moving and lounging (like her mama). She had the sweetest personality and was such a sweet and pure little soul.
We have received sweet gifts from our family members and messages of hope and encouragement. I am so grateful for our families and for the blessing of knowing that ours is for eternity! We will see Eden and raise her as our own one day! She is our daughter, definitely had a spirit and personality and is waiting for us to return to be with her again someday! I'm so grateful for the Temple and the covenants and promises we make there. I know the Lord is watching over not only our family but all of us! He will guide us and be there for us as we turn to him always!
September 10th is Eden's birthday and we will forever celebrate it as her day:) Last night I got some balloons and flowers to take to where she is buried. We had her buried over my Grandfather's grave and it is a beautiful spot in the Mesa Cemetery. This morning I made monkey bread (so yummy) to have something sweet and fall-ish and I've been burning the Leaves candle from Bath and Body works. Last year my sweet sister-in-law gave it to us and the smell will always remind me of Eden. I love how a scent can bring you right back to a place, experience, or moment in time. It's incredible:) I feel like it's a little blessing from God letting us know of the love He has for us and reminding us of the strength we were given during such a trial in our lives.
 |
| Eden
is buried right under us (where the little roses are). It's always hard to get
a picture of us with her because we don't have a marker/headstone for her
yet. |
I was pretty emotional while we drove there and overwhelmed by everything. Jason was so sweet and understanding, asking me questions and reminiscing about Eden. We brought a little rose bush plant to put on her grave and a pink balloon. I wanted to send it off to let little Eden know we are thinking of her and loving her always. I want to do that every year from now on. I think it will be fun to do with our future children as well:) Traditions are fun and good to establish with family. What better time to start than now? I got 5 balloons but only one stayed floating so we just let the one go. Because it had been sitting overnight it kind of lost helium as well and we were worried it wouldn't work. But when Jason let it go it slowly drifted off. It was perfect:) It didn't go too fast and I was able to snap a few pictures of it. It was a sweet little tender mercy from the Lord. We love our little Eden and are so happy she is a part of our family.
As I sit here writing this I am reminded of another special person that will be joining our clan this December! Yes, we are pregnant! We are having a little boy:) And oh what a fun boy he will be! He definitely has a sweet personality as well. He is a mover and a shaker and I feel him all the time. The last ultrasound we had of him he had his feet up past his head...he is super flexible (like his dad...not his mama!) We are so excited to shower him with love:) I am 27 weeks and it's so nice to be in the stage of viability. If he comes now he can survive outside the womb!! It's not ideal and quality of life may be poor but it's exciting and such a milestone!! Every week is a milestone!
I just barely started feeling kind of good. I've had HG with this baby as well. I will be sick with all my babies I'm sure...as was my mom and grandma:) Pregnancy is not a walk in the clouds for me I'll tell you that ! But I will sacrifice for these babies because they are so important to me and important in the plan our Heavenly Father has for us! The least I can do is be a vessel to bring life to these sweet little spirits! And sometimes the vessel goes through a hurricane and storms and is tossed and turned:) I have definitely felt all of that:) I usually lose about 16-20 lbs my first half of pregnancy...and finally with this little guy I am gaining weight. It's crazy to be gaining more weight than I'm used to...but hey, if it's for the baby to help him grow and be healthy, then I am all in:) I just can't wait to meet him and see what he looks like:) It will be a wonderful reunion!!
Another thing that happened this month was that my sweet niece was baptized (oldest grandchild on the Blackham side) and her little sister (newest grandchild) was blessed. I wasn't able to be there but I know it was such a sweet occasion for all. I love my nieces and nephews, Blackham's and Linford's! They are all so sweet and bring so much joy:)
Children are special, They are sweet and have so much faith:) My heart aches for anyone who has lost a child or loved one. It is so hard and some of the deepest sadness that can be felt. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of life after this and eternal families:) I'm so grateful for the scriptures and the comfort I feel from reading them and attending the Temple. So many people don't have the knowledge of life after death because they "know not where to find it". Let us share our knowledge freely and share the eternal happiness and joy we experience daily:) (If anyone has questions visit lds.org, mormon.org, or ask me or a Mormon friend:)
It has been a special few weeks and will continue to be more special as we get ready to invite this new little one into our home:)
September...
it's been a sweet month indeed:)
